I know that you’ll leave me. It’s going to take you twelve months to realize that maybe this isn’t love.
You’re going to apologize for not loving me better, for not loving me at all and I can not promise that I will forgive you but I can promise that I will try.
I can tell you right now, that’s it going to wreck me and I can tell you right now that you’re going to stay longer than you should because you know I love you. But I don’t want you to stay knowing that I could never make you a better person. I don’t want you to stay knowing that you could never love me.
So leave right when you realize that I don’t make you happy. Yes, I might have trouble sleeping for months down the road but one day, I won’t think of you anymore and I hope that scares you, to know that you could love someone so much but yet , understand that you’re worth more than whatever little they had to give because that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
I’m going to get drunk off cheap vodka and I’m going to smoke cigarettes until something other than you makes my hands shake but one day, I will understand that the person we love the most is not often the one we get to spend the rest of our lives with and that’s okay. I will realize instead all the things you couldn’t do for me, all the things you didn’t do for me and that’s going to be the moment when I stop loving you.
You didn’t write me love letters and you didn’t take me home to meet your mother because although you knew she could love me you knew that it never meant that you would too. You couldn’t hold my hand in the backseat of my fathers car because you knew that he would think we were perfect together in spite that we never were. So it’s okay. It’s okay.
I know you’re going to leave me and I don’t want you to feel sorry for it. I’m going to be okay without you, I know it.
This. hits. hard.(via iwasntborntowalktheline)
the problem with posts like these is that the average inspired joe thinks “hmmm… i could pull that off with one or two filing cabinets… it’ll look quirky and swell in the garden out back.” whereas i think “there must be an abandoned office building somewhere that has like 100 filing cabinets that i could acquire to make a looming death tower of metal planters out back.”
Friday day dreaming of a big family and a full heart.